Why do we still say "lifestyle"?

"I don't have a lifestyle. I have a life."

Jane Fonda's line in Neil Simon's brilliant 1978  movie California Suite should have marked the end of that laziest of words, "lifestyle". It didn't. In fact the word has replicated like the most virulent parasite. Through the willing vectors of marketing and media we have all been infected by the idea that we have to aspire to a "lifestyle" and that we should focus our attention on making "lifestyle choices".  It's one of the most ubiquitous of the spray-on words that no marketing puff piece can be written without. As a result it becomes meaningless.

But 1978 is a long time ago and "lifestyle" has had plenty of time to mutate into more dangerous strains. The most sinister is its adoption by fundamentalist hate merchants as a way of condemning people who don't fit their narrow templates. Same sex couples, for example, choose a "gay lifestyle". That means they can be attacked. In the first place it assumes all gay people are the same and have an entirely uniform way of living -  no doubt they sit down with a selection of glossy magazines in order to make their lifestyle choice. But of of course that's not all, "gay lifestyle" is not used by these people in an airbrushed and aspirational way, no cosy connotations of stylish brunches in IKEA kitchens. It is hissed in hate-laden speech complete - as we have seen - with innuendo of perversion and child abuse. Trite and overused "lifestyle" has become a way of delivering modern day versions of the blood libel.

Driving along this morning listening to the radio I was reminded why "lifestyle", with its blend of the evil and the banal, should best be avoided. A BBC commentator on the usually precise Radio 4 was talking on Woman's Hour about the language of Ulster politics. It was a generally critical piece highlighting how different the election discourse is in Northern Ireland. Some of the sexist language and attitudes she referenced seemed a generation out of date and was quite shocking. So far so good. But then she used the phrase "the gay lifestyle" as if it was entirely accepted and carried no other meanings or implications. It is not.

To compound the irony, a couple of minutes later in one of those brilliant Radio 4 "now for something completely different" moments, the presenter talked about something that was "not a diet but a lifestyle choice". We were then given a recipe for sweet potato brownies. Sorry to be hard on you Woman's Hour but here were two lifestyles too many.    

English riots

I have almost resisted the temptation to blog about the riots and the collapse of civilisation as we know it. I surprised myself by agreeing with Boris Johnson who described them as a huge own goal -- that is true. I was not surprised talking to a friend at the BBC to hear about the enormous handicaps placed on their reporters by health and safety bureaucracy, over-staffing, daft correctness like the "protesters" gaffe and centralised diktat -- no wonder Sky News outperformed them at every stage.

The most memorable episode for me however was a call from my Maasai "brother". He got in touch from Tanzania to offer his sympathy and to ask why we were doing this to ourselves. He was genuinely shocked.

News of the World

So farewell then News of the Screws...

I am not joining the crocodile chorus and lamenting its passing. Yes it did break some valid stories but for every worthwhile revelation there were a hundred unnecessary, intrusive, prurient pieces of nonsense all washed down with a fairly loathsome slug of cod morality.

The two defining features of this last week's disclosures have been the arrogance of those in control who thought they could break the rules because they were above them and then the slavish fear with which the Murdoch empire is regarded by a range of institutions in our civil society.

I had some dealings with News of the World as a journalist. Back in 1994 I spent some months investigating connections between the paper, the Metropolitan Police and some of its dodgier informants. With colleagues Simon Ford and John Penycate enough evidence was uncovered to make a Panorama programme for BBC1.  

The investigations turned up a basic story that repeated itself. The persuasive informant would pick a gullible victim. Over a period of time the victim would be befriended and then cajoled into entering into a highly unlikely criminal deal -- purchase of Uzi machine pistols was a favourite. As soon as the deal was close to closure out would spring a posse of armed police and a team from News of the World. The victim would then  be convicted of a major crime. As he was led away to a long prison sentence there would be a lurid write up and photos of the arrest in the paper. The line of the story was that the News of the World had "alerted" police to this crime in time for them to pounce before a batch of Uzis or Semtex hit Britain's streets. It would be accompanied by a fulsome quote from the Met thanking the paper for its hard work and public spirit.

It was a great scam. Everyone a winner. The informant got a handsome cash reward. The paper got an "exclusive" and the Police were able to "clear up" a major crime with a decent conviction. Trebles all round. The fact that it was an entirely manufactured crime did not seem to matter. The victims were hardly attractive. They tended to be sad, lonely, petty criminals or losers who valued the attention of the silver tongued agent provocateur and were easily led into his trap.

Before and after the Panorama programme was eventually broadcast our BBC managers were sent  threatening letters from Wapping and called to "high level" meetings at Scotland Yard. The programme itself was cut back and pulled many of its punches. My career at Panorama was over. For reasons  of "career development" I was moved away from the programme.         

     

Delivering Quality First

The late Roy Jenkins pioneered a simple political bullshit test. Once you have learned to use it you find it is not only good for political claptrap but all manner of pronouncements, policies and PR guff.  To apply the Jenkins Test, simply take a political -- or other -- statement and reverse it. That allows you to stand back and see if the original statement really meant anything at all. So if we suppose that Quisling Clegg says: "Here in the Coalition we are fundamentally opposed to murder." Apply the JT and voila: "Here in the Coalition we are fundamentally in favour of murder", suddenly the Westminster Wonder looks even more banal and stupid than usual. He is clearly saying nothing of any substance.

I am instantly minded of the Jenkins Test when I hear BBC executives chanting their new management mantra - "Delivering Quality First". It is everywhere. Does that mean they used to "deliver" quality second, third, or last? What have Thompson, Thomson, Bennett et al (each earning several times the Prime Minister's salary)  been doing all these years -- running a public service broadcaster that doesn't "deliver" quality? Or is this just another piece of meaningless managementese as an attempt to justify said salaries. I think we should be told.

How to waste public money on public transport

Today the papers report that the BBC has been organising public transport training days for staff who are moving to the new Salford production centre. Apparently the hapless Corporation minions need to know how to use a bus or tram, particularly in the northern wastes of their new homeland. Initially I wondered why the papers hadn't saved this story for April 1st. Then I checked the excellent Tabloid Watch site in case it was a Daily Mail special. But no it hasn't been reported as a fake, yet.

But a moment's more thought and it does sound credible. Firstly there will be a huge "relocation communications" budget within the BBC one billion pound moving costs that has to be spent. Bugger the World Service or local radio, this is the bureaucrats' money so is bound to be safe. Secondly BBC staff above a certain grade believe themselves to be too important to travel on the bus (oh the stories I could tell), so some persuasion and basic training may well be in order. It's grim up north.

 

Yes

The people of Wales have voted yes. Decisively, thank God. I had been worried the Tea Party style non-politics campaign of "True Wales" -- the no supporters -- might have led to a disastrously low turnout, or less than decisive result. It didn't on either count.

Pleasure somewhat diminished by some very poor reporting in the media, particularly the BBC. One that sticks out was from a BBC reporter speculating that the (relatively) low turnout was down to the fact that ordinary Welsh people didn't really understand complex constitutional matters. Frightfully complex things like whether their decisions should be made in Westminster or Wales. Whoever gave them the vote...?

Perhaps a first move for the newly empowered Welsh government could be to restrict the franchise to those who do understand complex constitutional matters, perhaps confine the vote just to the clever souls who work  in the  BBC Wales political unit. Hey ho democracy.

BBC Cult of Youth

Alan Yentob (63) has announced that, following a David and Goliath style humiliation over the Miriam O'Reilly case, the BBC will be ultra ultra careful about ageism in the future. There will be lots of special training for executives and monitoring and policies and probably a few layers of compliance management as well. Of course that's how the BBC always responds when it get gets caught out.

The real problem is that the BBC just doesn't get it. The Corporation already has a vast apparatus of "diversity" with tsars and enforcers and committees and monitoring groups; equality policies by the ton; a groaningly large Human Resources Empire -- headed by executives whose pay is in multiples of the Prime Minister's; and a Director General who leads the TV Industry's Cultural Diversity Network. If it still screws up after all this what good are a few more Diversity Awaydays going to do...?

BBC and BNP

The BBC's defence of Radio 1 Newsbeat's kid-glove handling of BNP spokespeople is unravelling. Roy Greenslade's criticisms of the corporation's journalistic failure appear to have been vindicated and now there is worse . I do wonder why the BBC is bending over quite so cravenly to the BNP? I am all in favour of the party being featured on BBC programmes like putting Griffin on QuestionTime. The BNP's lack of ideas and pointless hatreds collapse under fairly modest challenge. The criticism of Newsbeat is that there was no hard questioning, challenge or it seems basic research.

In a small way I experienced the BBC's jitters a few months ago. Asked for my views on a Radio 4 website I decided to contribute to a debate about protestors pelting Nick Griffin with eggs. I simply wrote that this was a time honoured British tradition for dealing with the pompous and unpopular. Of all people, Nick Griffin -- who constantly says that his party is the home of British heritage -- should understand this. My comment was moderated out straight away. Opinions like this clearly have no place on a BBC website. When I complained about the moderator's action I was warned that I was in contravention of the BBC website guidelines and if I persisted could be banned from any future participation...so much for the BBC and free speech.

Brucie's Bubbles

I am sure Bruce Forsyth can afford to buy posh champagne. I am also sure he got given plenty of nice pressies for his 80th birthday. I am not sure therefore that Jana Bennett's gift meant much in material terms but it was a nice thought which after all is what presents are about...or was it? That nice thought goes rather sour when you find out she claimed the money back from the licence payer. Surely a whip-round among BBC executives could have come-up with both a present and a real spirit of giving -- instead of just taking.

BBC Bonuses

I can exclusively reveal that I was once paid a performance related bonus by the BBC. It was a little while ago.

About ten years back I spent 6 weeks in the bush in Africa searching out great white elephant hunters. It was hard, uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous work. Most of the hunters quite categoricaly didn't want to be filmed. We zig-zagged from Zimbabwe, to South Africa and ended up by the Namibia-Angola border. Finally we filmed the kill, by an American big game hunter, of a large rogue bull elephant at very close quarters. I came straight back and worked more days and nights to get a programme ready for broadcast. In the end with planning, the trip to Africa and post-production I worked two and a half months straight, 7 days a week and with a few all nighters. No problem. It was tough and I was very tired but a great experience. The finished programme was good and well received by the critics. It was broadcast all over the world. The BBC was able to show its audience something most had assumed had died out a couple of generations ago. The footage of the elephant hunt is still unique a decade later and I often get calls from producers asking to use it. If the BBC has any commercial sense it should have made some money from this exclusive footage.

After BBC executives -- including Mark Thompson -- had sat around a while waiting to see what everyone else thought (which is what they do) they declared the film a success and awarded me a performance related bonus of £250. After tax and NI I got £125 in my next paycheque. I can't remember what I spent it on. It wouldn't have gone far towards replacing Jana Bennett's handbag.

TV Alzheimers

I watched the first few minutes of a BBC documentary last night. It was about an auction rooms and whether a son was going to take over running it from his father thus keeping a family business alive. So far, so good, reasonably interesting. But I soon got tired of being told what it was going to be about. In a feeble attempt to "hook" me and create non-existent tension the voiceiver track kept repeating "will he give up his own life and go home and save the family business...blah...repeat...blah...repeat..." Just get on with it.

Perhaps the producer was suffering from alzheimers and had got caught in one of those dementia conversation loops or is it that the BBC believes these days it is only broadcasting to a senile rump of viewers, too infirm to remember the past 60 seconds or indeed to change channels? Anyway I did, change channel that is. Sadly I will never know the fate of the auction house and its prodigal (?) son.

The Wire and Shakespeare 1 - Characters

When the BBC started showing The Wire last month (only 7 years late guys -- good old BBC rapid response*) we had all the, now familiar, buzz about "the best TV series ever", we heard the Obama endorsements again but yesterday I heard someone say that it was Shakespearean.

Mmm Shakespearean. I would usually run a mile from such glibbery. I remember the late, and bashfully modest, Eastenders producer Tony Holland claiming that were Shakespeare alive "today" (this was in the 1980s) he would be writing for Albert Square. I can just see "Bill Stratford" (his nom de plume for Eastenders when he was moonlighting from the day job at Corrie) pops into the Queen Vic after filming had finished, he makes straight for his guiding mentor Tony Holland...

BS: Hi Tony fancy a drink?
TH: Yeah Bill mine's a pint of Churchill's
BS: Two Churchill's please Angie. Tony I wanted your advice on that new character Hammy I am working on. He doesn't seem to be able to make up his mind what to do...just found out his uncle Frank killed his old man, is shagging his old lady and Hammy thinks he's next in line. Just can't make up his mind whether to take a pop at Uncle or not.
TH: Look Bill when you've been in the game as long as me you'll know indecision don't put bums on seats. I'd write that out straight away. Have you thought about the old man coming back as a ghost? ... and where does Dot play in all this?


But despite my natural revulsion at Mr Holland's (God rest his soul) hubris and by association most of such claims, there is something in The Wire comparison. How come?

Health Warnings: 1. If you haven't yet seen The Wire I suggest you use your time to watch it rather than read this. 2. If you have seen it, be my guest although equally you might be better to watch it all over again rather than indulge in pointless Wiring and re-Wiring. 3. Finally I am in love with Omar Little (best character ever on TV according to Leader of the Free World - I'm in good company) so excuse any "little" indulgences in that regard.

I think we can find Shakespearean parallels in the characters, the themes, the language and in the overall humanity of The Wire. I am sure there are many more.

The Wire's shifting patchwork of characters could provide a lifetime's material for analysis. Not just because of numbers and range but -- like Shakespeare -- because of complexity. This is no haunt for the usual TV good or evil cutouts. Everyone displays a realistic mixture of traits. Like Shylock even the baddest Baltimorite would bleed if they were cut. This unflinching realism gives us real depth but it doesn't do so at the expense of the drama. Again like Shakespeare, The Wire's writers create a number of extraordinary characters and mix the mundane with the epic. Omar's cry of despair when he identifies his lover's body in Season 1 is the scream of a Greek tragic hero railing against Olympus. This is real drama. So is D'Angelo as our Hamlet playing out his moral confusion amid a wreath of family ties. So are the corrupt politicians and union bosses as they work through the ambiguities of power just like Shakespeare's kings. Even the fools have their depths and their clownish tears. It was certainly my own experience that leaving Wireworld is a bit like coming home from the spicy intensity of a trip to, say, India and finding everything too clean and bland. Mother's Pride after roti and sambal...Others have said the same. After all where else do we find an Omar Little?

Themes soon...

* I suspect we'll come back to that